They say in life treat your enemies like friends and then they’ll become frenemies, which in my experience has been known to evolve into besties when you really, really get to know them.
I have a Frenemy who I adore. Sometimes that imperceptible line between love and hate is like the thinnest veil on Halloween; barely there! I am always pacifying this friend who will most likely not remain anonymous for long. You have one too- someone we all have, know far too well, and love dearly.
I am just stating the obvious- this isn't about cattiness or simply gossip, it is simply the way it is.
A Familenemy (part friend, part family, part enemy) is impossible to live with and impossible to live without. I'm sure you are intimately familiar with this evasive concept; it's something we keep hidden and never discuss or crab about endlessly.
Its safe to say I cannot change someone else but I can respond by putting up a great defense to promote peace, harmony and love.
In the name of compassion I have to make sure this friend is pacified, because if she is not then the big bad wolf is a 'knockin - actually pounding at my door- and PUFF there goes the entire house or in this case MY TEMPLE (divine- that is).
You know whom I'm talking about; it's a family affair. So what if she is the oldest, thinks she comes first all the time, and can hear everything I say because our voices - hell yeah even our thoughts carry like the wind…she is everywhere and then here. Outa thin air. Whooosh.
Who am I talking about? By now you may have guessed she is my dearest, most creative, funn (yep two n's), constitutional loving, gypsy swingin, spontaneous wheelin, often hysterical and sometimes forgetful BFF -VATA.
In Ayurveda (the ancient preventative modality of India and sister science to yoga) there exists three homes or constitutions- like the Harry Potter houses Gryffindor and Slytherin each with their own unique characteristics. We need and have all three to maintain our castle, or homeostasis, in balance. At times it is just like playing Quidditch on the battlefield of life. If we don’t heed the rules, use teamwork, and abide by our houses chaos ensues and you lose. It’s a high stakes and diligent game with a seeker (aren’t we all?), seven players (the chakras), two teams (duality), and an enchanted golden winged snitch (immortality, bliss, nirvana).
Anyway, I digress... but simply how elusive is that snitch! (to snatch)
Ayurvedically be mindful of Vata, the first of the three constitutions and the most likely variable in this sacred equation. Always pacify Vata! Learn how to fly a kite, balance on a tightrope, stay warm, focus and do your hOMework!
With Vata the winds are ever-changing. Since you cannot control the wind, you learn to adjust the sail when this dosha takes flight.
When VATA is deranged (or out of whack) she whips things up and gives PITTA a smack. Pitta will maintain the peace and attempt to judiciously carry on but Vata is as relentless as the media.
Pitta is officially pissed- ‘’how dare Vata do that?” Any great Pitta does not like to be pushed around or told what to do, and being the super-heated powerhouse they are, it’s time to react appropriately (Inappropriately so)!
PITTA is officially inflamed and going to bully KAPHA.
KAPHA, notoriously slow to respond, will ignore Pitta and maybe even absorb the shock. She will stew then brew, until loving Kapha's passive and bull-headed nature gives way to stone cold aggression.
A dead end of sorts where there is no return.
Eventually and quite dramatically taking it out on YOU!
Do I really want that kind of a dance with my Constitution?
I would rather be dancin’ to the blues than singin’ them.
When I pacify my beloved Vata I am able to keep peace and not start a war within the trilogy. All in all, we cannot live without our DOSHA Family. Compassion and communication are essential. So I keep my friends close, my frenemies even closer and always make peace with my Familenemy; after all we do share the same house for a lifetime… or at least just this one.
Not the kind of threesome I desire.